


The Planet's Orbit (The Heat the Sun Gives Off)

by Geritashipper123



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Blanket Permission, Blushing, Bones is So Done, Bones is a Good Friend, Crushes, Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Jim is a dumb dumb, Jim is the center of Spocks universe, LITERALLY, M/M, Mentions of Amok Time, Mentions of Mirror Mirror, Mirror Jim comes in for like ten seconds, Same with Pike, Spock has a crush, Spock is so in love with Jim he doesnt know what to do with himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 11:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9321680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geritashipper123/pseuds/Geritashipper123
Summary: The day Spock met him, his whole world  shifted axis.Now if only he could see it,





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nimi_shi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nimi_shi/gifts).
  * Translation into Español available: [La Órbita del Planeta (El calor que el Sol emite)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13054947) by [TheRose09](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRose09/pseuds/TheRose09)



> Okay so my new friend on tumblr nimi-shi made this post about spock with a big ol blushy crush and I added Jim being utterly clueless and a friendship was born and i instantly pushed everything off to the side to write this (in other words, if i fail history class i'm gonna blame star trek)
> 
> dedicated to nimi- I hope you like it friend! :D

Despite what several people on the _Enterprise_ seem to think, Spock is very much aware of other people.

True, he doesn't comment on it, but he is very aware of his crewmates. He even has a few people he could consider… not friends, but acquaintances. Mr. Sulu at the helm enjoys botany and is a good conversationalist about biology. The ships lead chemist is an african american man with blue eyes and a loud voice. He and Spock have particularly good conversations. There are two physicists on board- twin sisters, blonde and green eyed, and between the two of them they talk so fast Spock can have trouble keeping up. Mr. Scott in engineering is probably the closest he has to a “friend”- he has some weird protective instinct over Spock, and likes to “talk shop” with him.

But while he enjoys his conversations with these people, he can’t say that he finds any of them particularly attractive. Oh sure, the twins have both shown interest on two separate occasions and Mr. Scott has kissed him several times while drunk, but he didn’t return those affections. He’s never really felt physical attraction towards anyone. No one particularly pleases him aesthetically. Not in a mean way- he can admit that Mr. Scott, for example, is quite handsome- but he simply doesn't feel attracted to anyone. Period.

Perhaps he is asexual, he would think sometimes.

And then, in what would become a pattern, James Kirk blasts across his life like a comet- beautiful and golden and burning- and he takes everything Spock believes... and he _completely fucks with it._

 

* * *

 

Serving with Captain Pike had been an honor, truly. He was a good man and a good captain and would do amazing things someday. But, he was moving on. And almost the whole of the crew was going with him.

Spock is not one of them. He is staying with the _Enterprise_ , and her new captain. A man named James Kirk is beaming aboard today, and he is completely apathetic. He had greeted every new crewmember (and given his farewells to the old) with the same manner, and James Kirk will not be any different. Captain Pike is in front of the counsel, and Spock is at the controls.

“Energize.” Spock says, pulling the switch. The transporter’s usual noises sounded, reaching his sensitive before they reached the human ears in the room. He watched the molecules appear, and the form start to take shape on the pad.

James Kirk was, he thought as his molecular structure built, not a particularly tall man. He was actually kind of short. Broad though, wide torso and wider shoulders. The molecules started settling into their proper places, and suddenly instead of a short but broad molecular structure,  _James Kirk_ was on the transporter and…

The sun on Vulcan was blazing red, making the sands the same red and the temperature hot. The sun on earth, sol, was golden in color.

The very first comparison Spock makes about James Kirk is that he is the same color as the sun- _golden._ Golden hair, golden skin, golden command shirt, and eyes that were gold- no, they were brown, green, blue, gold- a warm feeling swelled in Spock’s gut, and then traveled up his chest to his face. He touched his cheek curiously- his face was warm. 

“And this is Spock- Spock? Are you alright?”

That was Captain Pike, and Spock instantly snapped his thoughts away from himself and back to the present. The captains were looking at him- Pike with mild confusion and the tiniest hint of worry, Kirk with… amusement? He had a smile playing on his lips and a confident air to him. 

Spock held up the ta’al “Greetings Captain Kirk.” He said, keeping his voice stiff “I am Spock.” A part of him wanted to forgive his blatant emotionalism- something was up with his face, and it was not normal and it was surely showing.

“Uh… anyways, Spock has been my CSO for… how long now?”

“Eleven years, Sir." 

“That long. He's the smartest man I’ve ever met.”

“Well, it's an honor to meet you Mr. Spock.” Said Captain Kirk, and his voice was as warm as his eyes- which had turned an honey color- and pleasing to the ear. Spock, for some reason, compared, the sound to caramel. The Captain held up a ta’al as well- a rather passable one for a human. Spock nodded at him, feeling the warm feeling in his face only get hotter.

Panic flashes across his mind- is he suddenly going into pon farr or something? He needed to go back to his quarters _now._

“If you will excuse me Gentlemen.” He manages stiffly. They both nod before he escapes. He walks rapidly back to his quarters and enters. On his way to his meditation mat, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror-

Suddenly, the burning sensation makes sense. Spock is _blushing._ With a horror, he realizes that he is _bright_ green, the same color as grass on earth. He is blushing from his neck to his cheekbones and all the way up his ears. And not only did Captain Pike see him like that- _Captain Kirk did._ That thought brings a sense of horror almost painful. Tearing his gaze from the mirror, he sinks to his meditation mat to try and figure out what had made him like this. Was he sick, was he poisoned?

All he can find is a strange warm feeling from the moment his eyes laid on James Kirk.

(It takes him another three hours of meditation to identify that as _desire._ )

 

* * *

 

Captain Pike leaves the ship with fanfare, and the command of Captain Kirk begins.

From the very beginning, he takes the time to meet with every crew member. He’s memorized everyone’s name in a few hours, along with their ranks, positions, and little tidbits of information about them within a few days.

He makes Spock the first officer in addition to the CSO, and after a few weeks on the ship he approaches him in the rec hall during lunch. “I noticed that you’re the chess grandmaster on the ship.” He says “I’m a bit out of practice but I bet I could give you a good game.”

Until this point, Spock has been… not avoiding the Captain persay, but he’s been completely professional around him. However, it has been a few weeks and that strange moment of desire and blushing has not had repeat, and it _has_ been a very long time since Spock has had a good game of chess. So he nods, picks up his tray, and sits on the black side of the Tri-D chess board in the rec hall. Kirk takes white, and Spock discovers that not only can the man give him a good game but Captain Kirk can sufficiently _beat_ him at chess.

“I’m actually… shocked.” Kirk said, eyes wide as he stares at Spock’s checkmated King. “you play a lot better than anyone back in Riverside, I can’t believe I beat you.” He finally looked away from the chessboard and smiled at Spock “Good game, play again sometime?”

And that smile- that _smile-_ it does things to Spock’s chest and that warmth doesn't crawl up him as much as it _zips_ up him. His cheeks are probably green again as he manages a nod. “I must return to the bridge now Captain.” He says hurriedly, mentally calculating if he could meditate before returning and notice. “If I may?”

James laughed, and the sound made Spock feel even stranger. “We’re not on duty Spock, you don't need my permission to do things.” Then he _looks_ at Spock- really looks at him. Spock feels his face burn more, and he nods once before escaping.

This _really_ needs to stop happening every time the captain so much as looks his way, he thinks as he sinks into his meditation position.

(That night, for the first time in a very long time, Spock dreams. He dreams of Jim’s smile and what it would look like paired without a shirt. He wakes up to a sticky mess and decides that he needs to see the doctor.)

 

* * *

 

The new- well, he isn't that new anymore but he’s new to Spock- CMO’s name is Leonard McCoy, and he has a loud voice and blue eyes and a large vocabulary.

He listens to Spock with silent resignation, and when Spock finished explaining, he is glad that the doctor decided to have this meeting in the privacy of his office because Doctor McCoy throws back his head and _laughs._ It's a deep belly laugh, and Spock feels confused as to why it’s happening.

“Let- let me get this straight-” Doctor McCoy says after he finishes laughing “You have a _crush_ on _Jim._ That’s why you’re here?” Spock nodded, and he laughed again. “Okay- Okay I’m done-” Doctor McCoy snorts and wipes his eyes “Well, I need to give you a check up, so I guess it’s good you came down here- But Spock, there’s no cure for a crush.”

“You mean,” Spock said “that I will feel these emotions and… _blush_ whenever I look at the captain?” Doctor McCoy shrugged “I don’t think that blush of yours is anywhere near as noticeable as you think, due to your skin tone. And it may fade with time, but there’s no cure for a crush but to do something about it or talk to a discrete  friend about it.”

“I have never had a friend.” Spock muttered, looking down. The doctor’s eyes softened a little, and he sighed before resting a hand on Spock’s clothed shoulder “Well, I don’t particularly like vulcans, and I’ll probably debate with you all the time knowing myself and your record, but my doors always open and” Spock raised his hand to glance at him “I think you can count me as a friend."

The doctor then proceeded with giving Spock an examination, and when he left he did feel admittedly better about everything. On his way out of sickbay though, he ran into the Captain. “Oh, hey Spock!” Kirk greeted with a smile, and sure enough, Spock felt the heat fill his cheeks again.

He swallowed, nodding at him “Good day Captain. I was just going to return to my quarters.” He said, keeping his voice calm.

“Ah- would you care to have that chess rematch later?” Kirk asked, and Spock nodded once before excusing himself.

Once he was in the privacy of the turbolift, he pressed his hands to his face, letting a human groan escape him. Jim was really quite aesthetically pleasing, even when he wasn’t even trying to be. 

When he returned to his quaters, a message was waiting for him on his personal PADD, from Doctor McCoy. _I get the feeling you’re not much of a face to face talker_ it read _so message me whenever. You couldn’t tell you were blushing unless you were looking for it by the way._  

At least he could take comfort in that.

 

* * *

 

This continues for the next several months, and several things happen over the course of that.

The first is that the whole of the new crew manages to get close to Spock. Miss Uhura sings when he plays his lyre, and speaks Vulcan to him. Mr. Sulu- one of the only crew members who stayed on from Captain Pike- and him work on a botany project together and end up talking for hours. Mr. Scott is probably the most intriguing- he finds out about Spock’s crush. And he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t judge- he just offers Spock a drink and claps him on the back with a look of almost… pity on his face.

The reason he has pity is because of another development of those first months- James Kirk becomes Spock’s friend. And a very dear one at that. They play chess together almost every day and become one of the most infamous command teams in the fleet.

He also learns that Jim is very much straight.

It becomes painstakingly clear when he apparently has women in every corner of the galaxy, and he continues to gain more as they travel. They get assigned the five year mission 4 months after Jim takes the captaincy, and from the very beginning of the mission Jim flirts and romances and dazzles every woman he meets with a smile and a laugh and a rose (he has a fondness for plants- nowhere near as strong as Mr. Sulu’s but pretty strong. He reminds Spock of the way his mother was with her plants and it is reason number 56 that Spock likes- he refuses to think _loves-_ him. And yes, there is a list)

Doctor McCoy becomes his friend in a most unusual way- he insults Spock and argues with spock and debates with Spock but when Spock needs him he’s _there._ He never laughs about Jim and Spock finds himself caring very much about Doctor McCoy.

Honestly, the whole crew has probably figured it out. Doctor McCoy and Scotty know, and Nyota confronts him one day and asks because Spock has- without meaning to- referred to Jim using the deltan word for crush instead of captain in conversation with her when they were both practicing their deltan and Spock sees no need to lie to her.

Missions happen that only make Spock want to hide it more- the Psi 2000 virus for example, when he locked himself in the conference room and had to fight to keep his secret. Going to Omicron Ceti III and seeing Leila again.

And then, they meet Edith Keeler.

Spock does not hate Edith Keeler- He envies her, admittedly. But he doesn't hate her. He knows from the moment she appears at the top of those steps that Jim is taken with her, and that she feels the same way. The look she gets in those grey eyes of hers is exactly the same one that Spock gets. Grey eyes, grey clothes- everything about New York in this time period seems to be grey… except Jim. Jim with his bright red plaid shirt and golden eyes is the one spot of color in a monotone world. Having to tell Jim that Edith had to die is one of the hardest things Spock has had to do in a long time.

It was one thing to hide his affections from Jim, it was another to break his heart,

 

* * *

 

It is almost 7 months after Edith happens that Spock, for the first time, looks at Jim and feels a… different type of burn. Something much… _much_ worse.

There's this very old television show meant for terran preteens and one of the most infamous lines is a character saying they feel “stabby” and even though it’s illogical on so many levels Spock has never understood that line more than when he’s fighting his _plak tow._

Jim keeps… approaching him, entering his quarters. Spock is fearful he will not be able to control himself anymore if Jim keeps doing that. Never before has he been more aware that he is three times as strong as Jim, and as the instinctual, uncontrollable part of his mind keeps reminding him, he could take what he wanted _very_ easily. The thought terrifies him, because the idea that he could hurt any of his friends, hurt _Jim…_

It makes him sick. Sick to his very core. So when he opens his eyes after the _kal-I-fee_ and sees- sees Jim… there… not-

when he sees him like... that... he…

Spock has never wished for the ability to not think before, but suddenly he longs for unconsciousness. He longs for this to all be some awful dream. He wishes desperately that he could trade places, that he could be the one to die, because Jim is the sun he is the center of Spock’s universe and Jim can live without him, he has made that very clear. Jim doesn't feel about him the way Spock feels about Jim and therefore Jim can continue on. Spock cannot. Despite the fact that the _plak tow_ has ended, he feels more out of control than ever. He wonders if Doctor McCoy’s Hippocratic oath upholds for murders and people who wish for death, because with Jim gone he falls into both categories. The world has fallen out from under him, spinning around him uncontrollably.

When he beams back aboard, he doesn't look at anyone. He doesn’t speak to anyone. He can feel the weight of what he’s done with each step, it’s like a knife in his heart. He’s got to turn himself in- He’ll plead guilty, ask for the worst penal colony he could find. He deserves to get thrown away like the garbage he is. At the end of the day, his peers were right. He was a nothing. Not a vulcan, not a human. In the galaxy of the _Enterprise_ , Jim was the sun, and Spock was an insignificant little space rock that didn’t deserve to be burned to bits by him. How could his traitorous body have thought it was even in the realm of _possibility_ for Jim to return his affections? He didn’t deserve to have the man’s acquaintanceship much less his friendship or his love!

He walked into Sickbay, feeling sick. Hopefully he could plead insanity, have the doctor keep him sedated for the trip to earth so he didn’t have to think about what he had done. No, that was too merciful. He deserved to have to dwell on it. He deserved to live the rest of his life knowing he had killed James Kirk, his _las’hark._ His sun.

Doctor McCoy looked up when he walked in “Spock-” He began, but Spock raised a hand.

“Doctor I assure you, you cannot possibly hate me as much as I hate myself in this moment.” He said quietly. Doctor McCoy faltered, then opened his mouth again “I apologize to you- I am aware Jim was your friend.” Spock continued “I thought of him as a friend too, even though I did not deserve his friendship. I have turned command of the ship over to Mr. Scott, and I will plead guilty at my trial- If they ask you to testify please tell the truth, that I killed James Kirk in a fit of insanity and deserve to go to the worst penal colony they can find-”

“Shouldn’t you approve all of that with me first?” Came a new voice, and Spock felt his heart stop. Suddenly nothing mattered because Jim- Jim was _alive._ Spock hd spun around so fast he felt dizzy, and saw Jim standing there, eyes soft and amber brown in this light. Spock’s knees almost gave out at the sense of relief that hit him. He cannot stop the smile that slips onto his face, or the name that he _cries_ out of joy. He wants to kiss Doctor McCoy for the ingenuity of his solution, and after Jim leaves and he turns to tell him so, the doctor stops him. 

“Don’t thank me, Spock.” He said “It’s not like I just did it for you- like you said, He’s my friend too. That being said…” He shook his head “This isn’t going in a medical report. You’re not a risk- you hated doing that, right?” Spock nodded, and he sighed “Somedays, I just wanna tell Jim to just kiss you. How he can be so oblivious I will never know.”

“The captain does not- and will not- feel the same way about me as I do about him.” Spock responded softly, still looking at the door Jim had just exited out of “I will be shocked if he even remains my friend after what I’ve done.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Doctor McCoy said “Jim’s pansexual, and he doesn't hate you.” he placed a hand on Spock’s shoulder “You know I’d never say anything, but you really ought to tell him. He deserves to know, deserves to make his own choice. And keeping this secret- it’s gonna _kill_ you eventually Spock. Looking at him and blushing is one thing, but you’re in too deep. Next thing you know you’ll be taking bullets for him, all because you care too much to make a logical choice.” The blue eyes went hard “I’m a psychologist too Spock- and I have to do what’s best for the ship. You need to have a conversation with him- do _something._ Before it endangers you both.”

 _It is too late for that_ Spock thinks idly, turning to leave.

 

* * *

 

 

2 months later, Jim, Doctor McCoy, Nyota, and Mr. Scott beam down to Halka to speak with the Halkan council about a dilithium trade and mining agreement. Halka is one of the most strictly peaceful planets in the galaxy, so against violence are they that they would blow themselves up before they let someone take them over and use their resources for violence. Spock can respect their peace faring society, and he expects that the captain will beam back up empty handed. 

He does not expect him to beam back up… _different._

The captain, the doctor - all of them. The whole landing party is, from the moment they beam back aboard, raving madmen. The doctor uses tactics he would never use to incapacitate crew members. Nyota chews off a man’s ear, Scotty is _clearly_ intoxicated and Jim- Jim. Jim who’s morals Spock once compared to being as unchangeable as laws of physics… Jim is _dark_ . He is twisted and cruel and screams about power and revenge and Spock hates him. For the first time he can look into those eyes- like cracked green glass in the light of the brig- and not blush. He feels no warmth because those eyes- those eyes are not _Jim._ They are wild and insane and cruel and everything Jim is _not_.

Except when he looks at Spock.

That’s the first thing that clues Spock in to the change in his captain- before he acts like a raving madman, he hops off the transporter, says “when the hell did you shave? And who in the hell gave you permission to, cause I didn't." He rests his hands on Spock's shoulders and leans in and whispers "Feeling disobedient today, pet?” And then he drags Spock forward by the ears and pushes his tongue into Spock’s mouth and- 

Spock has kissed people before, but he has never had to nerve pinch someone who was kissing him before. It's a most strange sensation to feel the person kissing him go stiff and fall away from him.

The alternate versions of the crew escape 8 times in that same hour- sometimes separate and sometimes together. Each time, Spock ends up being the one to catch the strange version of James Kirk. And each time, he says something different. Once, he clasps his hands in front of him and says he’ll “suck you off if you don't lock me back in there I swear I'll make it worth it-”

Another time, he reacts with anger, raving about all the ways he’s going to punish Spock. The final time Spock catches him, he looks at Spock with eyes so like _Jim’s_ that it makes him pause.

“Please.” The faux captain whispers “I don't know how this world works, but in mine you could _never_ betray me. Please.” And then he says “ _t’hy’la_.” And Spock nerve pinches him and the next time they escape he lets security handle it, because when the alarm goes off he is deep in meditation. 

He hates himself, because that strange fake Jim had kissed him and called him _t’hy’la,_  the strongest and most sacred bond in Vulcan culture- and Spock had _enjoyed_ it.

When they beam the team back up later, Jim won’t stop looking at him. Spock’s heart stops because the doctor tells him- tells him that the other Spock had said a few things to Jim- told him…

Spock has never exited the transporter room so fast, and he has certainly never ignored Jim calling his name.

Until today.

 

* * *

 

They're on a starship- Spock can’t exactly hide forever. When Jim asks for entry into his quarters, Spock honestly wants to say no. He doesn't know if he’ll be able to keep it inside if Jim is alone with him, not right now when he’s tasted Jim’s lips and gotten addicted, not when he’s like an addict who desperately wants his second hit.

He lets him in anyway, because while he’s a Vulcan he’s also a _man_ and if everything ends tonight he wants to gaze at the sun one last time. If Jim asks him to leave, he will pursue _kolinahr_ , he decides. He can’t exactly stay in starfleet- not after being on this ship. Jim’s spoiled it for him- he could never possibly have a better captain. It was physically impossible.

Jim entered slowly, taking the time to look around. Spock was sitting cross legged on his bed, head bowed, shoes off. “I understand if you want me to leave the ship.” Spock began “I will not expect you to do anything. I have kept this secret since I met you, I can act professional, if you wish to terminate our friendship-”

“Since you met me?” Jim said softly “We’ve known eachother for over a year.” Spock tilted his head to one side “I am very good at secret keeping, Captain. I was merely maintaining professionalism.” Jim looked at him “You should have said something.”

“I flushed whenever I looked at you.” Spock said, leaning his head back against the wall and not looking at him “I had dreams about you. I am friends with people like Mr. Scott and Doctor McCoy. But you… I _care_ about you. I am…” Spock closed his eyes, and then opened them “... when I thought I had killed you, I had never hated myself more. Not when I was a child being told that I was a freak, not when I was beaten for the shape of my eyes- I never truly hated myself until I thought my hands had caused your death. You are like the sun, _las’hark._ ”

“Does that mean “sun” then?” Jim asked softly “can I sit or do I just stand here until my legs fall off?”

“I cannot willingly cause my captain to lose his legs” Spock said, waving his hand. “And yes, _las’hark_ means sun. You are the center of my universe, Jim. Without you, nothing had meaning. I had no center, no purpose. The world was spinning uncontrollably and I-” Spock closed his eyes again. “... Oh Spock.” A warm hand came to rest on his knee “You had a crush on me the whole time?”

“... may I show you?” Spock said, holding out his hand. He finally looked at him, and Jim swallowed. His eyes were brown in the light of his room, the color of maple syrup. He leaned in, saying nothing.

Spock closed his eyes, whispered his words, and fell.

 

* * *

 

_It was better than he imagined._

_Jim’s mind is warm, like a rainbow of colors, like the sun shining on his face and skin. Like laying in warm water. ‘I'm glad you like it’ came the whispered thought, and Spock felt warm everywhere. ‘Take my hand.’ Spock whispered back to him, holding out a mental hand. Jim did, and Spock showed him._  

_He showed him the first time they met, and Jim laughs. He laughs and Spock can't hide his joy at the sound. ‘The first thing you thought about me was that I was short? I should be offended, but I'm too pleased.’ Jim thought ‘you’re… happy. Because I laughed?’_

_‘I enjoy your laughter.’ Spock responded. And with the thought of Jim’s laughter came the thoughts of his smile, came the feeling of blushing because Jim just_ looked _at him. The love was there, the affection- and all the negativity. Every thought of being unworthy, undeserving_

_‘NO!’ Came the shout, and suddenly an image of arrows laced with negativity, laced with bad memories and every horrible thing that had ever been said about him- those arrows were flying towards him when a gold shield surrounded him. Jim. Spock realized, Jim was protecting him. ‘Don't you ever think like that again!’ Came the pressing thought ‘don't you ever- how could you think of yourself as anything less than perfect?!’_

_And then. Spock saw it._

_He had been so focused on showing Jim how perfect he was, he had completely missed the way Jim thought of him. He saw himself painted in a new light- as something beautiful and kind and exotic and beloved and cherished. As something Jim couldn’t bear to lose. Together, they saw Spock’s pon farr, and the_ kal-I-fee. _Jim saw that Spock had longed for death when he was dead, Spock saw that Jim couldn’t bear to let him die._

_‘It appears that in this love we are both fools.’ Jim thought, not unfondly. ‘This meld is amazing you know.’_

_‘Our minds are very compatible.’ Spock said ‘I am fighting the instinct to allow a link to form.’_

_‘A link?’ Jim asked ‘like what you had with T’Pring?’ The name brings up an image of a denebian slime devil, and Spock almost laughs ‘No.’ Spock thought ‘this would be… a full marriage bond, needing only intercourse to consummate it.’_

_‘Oh.’ Jim thought softly ‘I guess that would be bad.’_

_‘It would be permanent.’ Spock said ‘we would need a healer to break it.’_

_‘I guess getting married before the first date would be bad.’ Jim said, and Spock felt warmth at the thought of any dates. ‘Let's get out of here.’ Jim said ‘I think we need to talk. Or maybe kiss. Or maybe both.’_

_Spock decided he would be amenable to that, and pulled away._

 

* * *

 

Jim was gazing at him, and just like always Spock felt his cheeks warm. The time, he welcomed the soft burn of his face as he allowed himself to look back at Jim. He swallows, and Jim cocks his head to the side in that look of brave confidence (reason number 572 he loves him- He is confident in everything he does) that makes Spock’s heart race. Spock closed his eyes for a moment, and then opens them again.

“So.” Jim said softly. Spock nodded once “Indeed.” He replied, voice soft. “I think I know a good place to start.” Jim said, already leaning in. Spock’s eyes fluttered shut again, and felt the burn in his face and chest lessen into sweet embers as he finally…

(Years in the future, when Jim is a bit rounder and his golden hair is greying, Doctor McCoy will bring up Spock’s “little crush”, Jim will turn to him with that same smile that is and always will be reason number one on his list of reasons he is madly in love with James Kirk, and he will say in a teasing voice “aw, you had a crush on me! That’s so _cute_ sweetheart.” To which Spock will reply “James, we had been married for several years and even before that you _knew_ about that crush.” And Jim will grin and Spock’s cheeks will burn- because until the day they become stardust, he will always flush under the light of his own personal sun.)

(And when they do pass on, they will have been apart for nearly a century. And Spock will have met another version of himself and his love. The younger him will blush whenever he looks at the younger Jim, and Spock will have smiled and told him it is okay, that no one can see it anyway.)

(And, although he never realized it, Jim always blushed for him too. At least, he does the first time Spock sees him after all those years. He blushes and smiles and says “I missed you.” And even though their both dead and their hearts don't beat in their chest and side respectively, Spock will blush like he’s meeting him all over again, and he will tell him he missed him too.)

(After all, what is a planet without a sun to orbit?)  

**Author's Note:**

> Please come talk to me on tumblr www.flamingbluepanda.tumblr.com
> 
> see ya!


End file.
